Every article I read before I left about solo traveling said you would feel lonely. But I didn’t understand what that really meant until today. And, I probably haven’t even experienced the half of it.
It can get lonely. Not because I am on my own, but because a lot of people around me aren’t. Most people came here in groups. And most the time they are inviting- I have made friends while here. I have felt comfortable to drink, eat and hang out with people. But reality hits that I am alone when I don’t know their inside jokes, and they don’t have the loyalty that they have with each other with me. It hits when I put myself out there and get shut down.
But this is all part of growing. This is part of feeling comfortable in my own skin. This is me working toward gaining the confidence to know that it is their loss when they blow me off, not mine.
And as I am writing this, sitting alone at a communal table, a worker from the hostel that I met earlier in the day, invited me to drink with them. Instead of feeling lonely and hiding in my room sad (and believe me, I thought about it) I came down here to sit alone. Overcoming the awkward feeling of sitting alone next to a group of people.
I’m glad I stayed down here. As I sat people joined me and now I’m going to go to 7/11 to get a bottle of wine and a street cart for some dinner. xx